Saturday, August 11, 2012

A-Z, S For Single.

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Frankly speaking I've never given much thought of that single-or-couple-thing. I was most of my life single. Period.

I've never doubted this status, I lived my life and was happy just the way it was - with 1% exception on special occasions or holidays like Christmas, where you wished to have someone special. I was always satisfied with just myself...

Should I consider it as good or bad sign that I do care now about my status as single?! Or is why does it care at all at the moment the better question? Seems like some of my old me, my old engergy, whatever has returned back and just because there's so much changing, maybe a part in me hopes this would change, too?

Whatever ... it's hard to deny, our station is a big community and with two room mates it's sometimes a little difficult to respect the other's privacy. I didn't eavesdrop, I just registered when my room mate was phoning and flirting with her boy friend. This was so frustrating. In a world where obviously looks is everything I couldn't help avoiding to think 'Why she and not me?'. You know, she's overweight, too! And she isn't the only one overweight with a boy-/girlfriend or even wife/husband. Again this thought came up 'What the hell is wrong with me?'

When did the wish to have a partner become so strong? I yearn for deep, craving eyes (See E for Eyes) and long for warm, strong arms, that hold me thight and secure. The need is so ardently, that the lack of it even makes me cry. I'm sometimes really emotional...

t also happens here to get in touch with the other side of the medal. There are some people having a partner and those are now worried, because the partner is worried about them. I won't deny having depressions is no piece of cake! A part in me is asking, is becoming a couple really the only solution or to use another S-word - even salvation?!?

Let's come back to the 'warm, strong arms' ... there's a fellow patient, a soul of a good man, seems to be always there for me, when I need some consolation or a hug - or both. Get me right, I don't have a crush on him, he's just the best buddy a woman can dream of. And he enlightens the hope that there are others like him out there ... if I dare to wish, then at least 6 years older and with blue eyes - and single, please!

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