Friday, April 22, 2011

ABC, S for Show Not Tell Crusader Challenge

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Soo many wonderful S-words! It's really difficult to chose one ... but then I've stumbled over Rachael's Crusader Challenge - just perfect for the S-day!





THE CHALLENGE
In 300 words or less, write a passage (it can be an excerpt from your WIP, flash fiction, a poem, or any other writing) that shows (rather than tells) the following:
  • you're scared and hungry
  • it's dusk
  • you think someone is following you
  • and just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: shimmer, saccadic, substance and salt.

MY OUTCOME
My stomach rumbled. It's been a while since I've eaten something. That was the law of the warriors, the clan's always first. Today I've hunted for those who weren't able anymore. My own needs had to wait. Unfortunately fresh bait was rare during the days of the empty leaves. The whole clan was starving. We've already lost a member. Who's going to be next? Another elder like Silvercoat? Maybe one of the kittens? Sure, we've tried to provide the Queens as good as we could, without their milk the next generation of warriors would be lost. The whole clan would be lost! What if this cold continues? What if ... No! I don't want to finish that. I would rather die than lose my beloved Sandcloud! I banned this scary thoughts out of my head!
In the meantime, the night slowly vanished, in the dusk between the treetops the first morning shimmers send some new hope in my heart. I knew there was fresh bait out there. I just had to find it!
Slowly I forced my way through the chest high snow. I felt the cold under my paws and despite the shelter of the trees the wind brushed heavy on my fur. My ears twitched, was there something behind me? I turned, but the only thing I could see were the soft movements of empty branches. I raised my nose and opened my mouth for a better sniff. But the wind came from the wrong direction, there was only the nasty stench of the biped's road and that strange winter substance called salt.
Maybe I should try my luck down at the small watercourse, every animal needs to drink. The taste of some fresh water would animate my spirits, too. With saccadic jumps I continued my way.

Wow, that was close: 299 words! =^..^=

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